Judith Kubish

A cold, blustery, wintry day is upon us here in Milwaukee. A wonderful day to envision the sunny, warm (and even uncomfortably hot!) summer outdoor weddings ahead this year. There will probably not even be a memory of this day then!
If you are planning one of those weddings- or a wedding anytime this year- Congratulations! And, if you are inquiring about my services and find out I am not available on your date- don’t hesitate to get back to me with any questions you have about planning your ceremony. I am eager to have couples experience truly personal ceremonies which express them in unique and creative ways- and I am only too happy to help you explore how to do that.
I am looking forward to getting back in touch with email inquiries and planning tomorrow. But, today- one more day of “holiday” –and cheering on the Badgers in a few hours.
The best to you for a 2012 full of love, light, and laughter.

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Back at my desk after winter holiday time.  I enjoyed a restful, rather quiet holiday time and it was just what I wanted and needed after a very busy year.

I wish all of you who are exploring my  website and reading  this blog a very happy new year.  Some of you are doing the countdown to your wedding day this year.  I hope you enjoy every moment planning and preparing; it is a very special time in your life. 

I often think of the first weeks of the new year as a very fragile time, just like any beginning or newness has a certain fragility to it.  There can be letdown after hectic or  full social events in December.  There can be expectation and hopefulness; new resolutions and intentions for ways to live this year get their first try outs.   I’m intending to balance my wonderful Celebrant practice with more self-care this year, and this very first day back has seen its challenges.  So, this newness invites me to be gentle yet firm with myself today, trust the process of realizing goals, keep taking steps, one day at a time.
May you find  gentleness and patience in yourself for every detail and obstacle, success, and dream , every person, (beginning with yourself)  and every aspect of your wedding.  Let’s all just “ease on down the road” of 2011.

Check it out:  the Milwaukee Wedding Boutique, (www.themilwaukeeweddingboutique.com) is up and running.  A small group of Milwaukee wedding professionals offer their expertise and support on this blog site.  It’s going to be exciting to get your interaction, also, and share the latest tips from experienced, enthusiastic, cooperative professionals.  Take a look at the introductions going on now and check back each week for information and creative ideas.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. 
And congratulations to Jane Kowalsky and Chris Collingwood as they prepare for their wedding on Friday.

We’ve woven their Unity sand ritual throughout the ceremony:  I pour sand in honor of Jane’s father at the memorial; their mothers pour sands in family support of their marriage; they will join sands after their vows and ring exchange; and they celebrate the blending of their families by pouring sands with their children after their declaration of marriage.  They are very  grateful to have found each other and so happy to be together; it’s going to be a lovely, joyful celebration.
I hope on this holiday that you enjoy the celebration of all the people in your life- and the entire “web of life” we are part of with all other beings in an amazing Universe.  I’m hoping to just sit still and enjoy all that myself at some point in the day!

Had a delightful morning get-together with wedding planner, Meghan Magritz  (www.thecitybride.com) (www.thecitybrideblog.com) .  Look forward, everyone, to the Milwaukee Wedding Boutique.  It will be lively blogsite with loads of ideas and resources from ten categories of wedding vendors.  I’m looking forward to it as a wonderful collaboration among wedding professionals to bring YOU the best of our knowledge and experience.  I’ll certainly let you know when we are up and running.  In the meantime, check out Meghan- you’ll love her enthusiasm and creativity!

I need to get the “world’s worst blogger” judgement out of my head-so- here I am–returning to my blog to add a post!!  Hurrah for me!
September already- months of wedding memories behind me- more to come yet this year.  I recall how, in many cultures and religions, this is the time of the year to honor the harvest, remember beginnings, and begin anew. 
When I remember these past months, I picture the venues,  from Green Bay to Kenosha,Lake Geneva,  Oconomowoc, to the shores of Lake Michigan, family homes, gardens and yards,  parks, resorts, churches, restaurants, and the beach.  I am very thankful for all the love which has been shared and all the happy celebration which has radiated, like the warming and energizing summer sun, not only among the family and friends who participated in those weddings, but to all of us who “served” those weddings, and, on the more subtle level, to everyone who has even been in proximity to those gatherings.  I believe every place where a wedding occurs is sacred i.e., having special meaning above and beyond its usefulness- because the love between us humans which a wedding honors- Bride and Groom, of course, but relatives and friends, as well, is at the very heart of living a purposeful  life. 
When I remember these past months, I also picture the faces of all those beloveds I had the privilege of celebrating—the delight on the Grooms’ faces as they saw their Brides- the beauty of each and every Bride– the incredible caring energy among the Bride and her attendants– the helpfulness and humor of the Groomsmen,– the vulnerbility, pride, and devotion of parents–the wisdom and love of grandparents–the “show stealing” escapades of flower girls and ring bearers (like the ring bearer who kept trying to pick up the rose petals the flower girl was trying so diligently to toss—or the timid flower girl who hurried through the last steps up the aisle to nestle in beside me and look up in my face for reassurance)—what a privilege it is to hold these memories and hope they will always fuel appreciation and reverence among all of us who experience them.
If you’re planning a wedding for next year, it’s a great time to gather the “seeds” of ideas you’ve read about weddings, your personal experience of weddings that you like, the ideas of friends and families, and just hold them for awhile,without acting on them,  knowing you have time yet to decide which ones “fit” for you and how you will manifest them in  your wedding. 
If your wedding date is fast approaching, it’s a special time to remember how your planning began and celebrate all the work you have done to make your day unique and reflective of you.  You deserve to feel proud and happy of how much this step in life means to you.
It’s also a great time to give thanks for your relationship journey to this point and honor the dreams and hopes you have for your future together.
I’m heading out for vacation on Sunday- two weeks at lovely Sleeping Bear Dunes country in western Michigan.  First,on Saturday, though, Katrina and Josh’s wedding in Racine.  I get to add a few more memories to my harvest basket- what a blessing!

Woke up this morning feeling impending panic about the holiday season ahead.  Took some meditation time to center and focus and came to my computer with much more serenity.  Received the Chopra Center newsletter for December with a wonderful summary of de-stressing actions.  So– here’s the link.  Seems to me these same suggestions can really help with wedding preparation stress, too!  Ahhhh–welcome peaceful and enjoyable holiday time–peaceful and enjoyable wedding planning.    What a gift for ourselves, each other, and our world! http://www.chopra.com/agni/dec09/tips

Among the many choices you make about your wedding, there are only a few that are necessary.  You NEED to have a place to get married, an officiant to make it legal, and your statements of intention/vows to each other.  Everything else is a WANT.  When dealing with finding an officiant,  there is another distinction to look at:  do you want an officiant or an officiant and a ceremony? 

Some couples are looking for the “legal person” ( a minister or a judge) to be present at a certain time,  lead them into saying “I do”, pronounce them “man and wife” and let them kiss and get on with the party.  This is especially effective if you’re free-falling in a sky dive and the officiant is mouthing the necessary words to have you marry before the chutes open! 

Of course, if you are marrying in a particular religious tradition, the ceremony is dictated by the customs and ritual books of that religion. 

There is also the option, though, of choosing an officiant AND a ceremony.  In this case, you are looking for someone who has the credentials to be a legal officiant and the skills and creativity to create a ceremony with you.  As a Certified Celebrant (www.celebrantusa.com) this is my background, my expertise—and my passion!  I  accompany couples on a pleasant, and affirming process of creating a ceremony reflecting who they are, how they  have come to love each other, why they want to spend their lives together, their hopes and dreams.  I invite them to be conscious and choiceful about the words that are said, the symbols used, the tone, music, and movement that are part of THEIR ceremony.

Whether you talk with me or not, as you make this choice for your wedding day, I hope it will be clearer to you now : are you looking for an officiant—or are you looking for both an officiant and a ceremony?